Following My Rabbi

Yes!!

2009-03-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

We love the game Rock Band in my house. But I was noting the other day that there is a large hole where U2 and Beatles songs should be. Well my longing to sing Yellow Submarine is ending as Rock Band has announced a Beatles track pack out this September. I know what to get Sarah for her birthday!!!

Here is the article on Rolling Stone

Ok already...

2009-01-30T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by multiple people, and so I bring to you my random 25 things:

1. If I could afford it I would drink nothing but Coke and Mt. Dew - in that order.
2. I am secretly hoping that belly button lint is discovered to be a precious resource, I produce enough to keep everyone happy!
3. I have only dreamed of being two things - a professional basketball player, and a professional musician. So far 0 for 2.
4. I love my church. No really, I LOVE Pump.
5. I have entertained the idea of becoming a vegetarian, twice.
6. I once met Danny Glover in a Fred Meyer downtown, he looked like a bum.
7. My oldest son is so much like me that I can look at him and tell you what he is thinking.
8. I have always been able to beat my dad at a game of horse, always.
9. I really enjoy a bag of Haribro Gold Bears.
10. I am blessed to be married to my best friend.
11. All of the software, digital music, and digital movies we have in our house are legal.
12. I would play video or computer games all day, and I have no moral issue with that.
13. I could eat Taco Bell every day.
14. I have built 4 computers from scratch, and rebuilt one lap top.
15. I must put shoes on in order to feel like I am awake.
16. My nickname in high school was buns of steel. No really, and I didn't name myself.
17. I have only had 2 male best friends in my life, one in elementary school, and one last year. I have only had 1 girlfriend, and I married her.
18. Deliriously I cheer for the 49ers. There is always hope.
19. I believe there is no better treat on a hot day than a pickle.
20. I love to be with people, but I need quiet alone time to feel sane. I learned that from my mom.
21. If Sarah and I had no children we would likely be living in another country.
22. I don't sing in the shower very often.
23. I would rather cheat than loose at a race.
24. In high school I lettered in choir, band, and theater. You may call it dorky, I call it cultured.
25. I don't have a dream car.

well there you have it. I will not tag anyone else, this ends here.

My Birthday is coming up!!!

2009-01-24T22:40:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for a present for me for my birthday, here is an idea...

2008-12-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

This video will steer some of the worship I lead at Pump going forward. I love it because it is raw and transparent. I feel that we approach the throne of God best when we come as we are and let go of what others may be thinking about us. I love my church family because they bring it every Sunday.

Who are you...

2008-10-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

As Christians we must learn from our inherited tradition's ancestors. Like our Jewish cousins, we must be willing to question Yahweh. We must be willing to wrestle with our maker as Jacob did. Wrestling is not a sport in which the one with the most strength wins. Rather, the one who learns from his opponent and counters with the correct moves wins. Wrestling is an intimate activity, we can learn much about who we are and our place in His creation by wrestling.

And so I ask...

Who are you that you will allow an institution which so greatly blesses the Church family of the Northwest to close it's doors?

Who are you that you will watch a 4 year old girl suffer from leukemia?

Who are you that you will not stop a babies head from fusing forcing an emergency and scary surgery?

Who are you that you will not protect children from the selfish choices of their mother?

Yahweh,

I thank you for these times when I can see that I am but a small part of your creation. I thank you for reminding me that it's not about me. I thank you that I can feel remorse, sadness, fear, and disgust. I thank you that you are bigger than my feelings, and that you know better than I. I thank you that in all these things you will have an opportunity to save me - again. I thank you for Cascade, Caitlin, Zion, and Emily. I ask that in all these things you will teach me who you are. I ask that these times of heart ache are a reminder of the wonderful story of Jesus, and that these hard times will stir my excitement about his story. May I never be quiet, may I never be afraid, may I never be ashamed. Give me the strength to be a soft spoken servant, and a brash mouthed prophet; and guide me with your spirit that I may know when.

Amen.

I've got Joy, down in my heart...

2008-10-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about joy quite a bit lately. I don't consider myself to be an overly joyous person, in fact I would think most people would see me as cynical and frumpy. I long to be a person who shines joy into others, but it doesn't come easily to me.

Paul has some interesting thoughts on joy. In Galatians 5 he mentions that joy is a fruit of the spirit, not a state of being but the effect of some cause. Outside of this writing Paul and other new testament writers don't generally excite me with what they say about joy. Here are some of those thoughts:

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 8:2 that "Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity."

The writer of Hebrews says "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

James writes "Consider it pure joy my brothers when ever you face trials of many kinds..."

If you were to ask average Americans what the definition of joy is, they would largely give you a definition closely related to happiness if not that it was happiness altogether. The new testament writers seem to think of joy as the effect of trials or persecution, they seem to say that joy and happiness are somewhat contradicting. Both seem to be effects of different causes, one from desires of the flesh and the other from desires of the soul.

I have heard it said that money can't buy you happiness, and I think that is largely false. I have had money, and it made me very happy. In fact the more money I had the happier I think I was. That happiness came at the cost of not being a very joyful person, it brought emptiness, and no matter how happy I seemed to be it didn't last long before I felt I needed to buy more.

As a disciple of Jesus I am now trying to live with as little money as possible so that happiness is not a temptation, and so that through my trials of making ends meet and relying on God's providence to take care of me I will bear more fruit called joy.

I hate politics

2008-09-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of politics. I don't enjoy talking or listening about the direction of our country, nor do I generally care. Having said that I am thinking about voting this year for the first time in my short 10 years of eligibility. Honestly the newest Poli-star Obama has me captivated. Not because of his good looks, his well articulated speeches, or his diverse background. It's because of his thoughts on abortion.

the democratic party has largely been pro-choice, and Obama's stance will follow. But the thought process he went through to get there is beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I believe abortion is wrong, and as an adopted child I believe in alternate options. Obama states that abortion is wrong and that human life is valuable even at early stages in pregnancy. But at some point in time there are going to be unwanted babies, and Obama believes that until we as a nation are ready to take in unwanted babies we should allow other people to choose their own path.

Jesus says: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matt 7:3-5

I think he meant what he said. I am not willing to take a stand on abortion until I am ready to start adopting babies.

This wise thinking is exactly what we need as a leader for our country, and since I don't think Jesus wants the gig, I may vote for Obama.

The Mystery of Water

2008-06-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hannah has never been a big fan of water. Sure the idea of joining the other kids in the pool sounds great, but she has always been a little skeptical. In fact taking a bath is nearly past her threshold for water tolerance. Washing her hair is a battle. But at the community pool last night she "had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity!" She started holding my hands and swimming by herself and finished with multiple jumps into the pool from the edge while I caught her. In fact before her last jump attempt she said to me, "Daddy? Can I get those glasses so I can jump in by my self?" I was shocked! the same girl who screams bloody murder in 4 inches of water in the bath tub when it's time to rinse her hair is swallowing gulps of pool water!

And I realized at that moment that we are not far from walking her down the isle, or attending her graduation, or the birth of our grandchildren.

Say what you need to say

2008-06-17T22:21:00.001-07:00

I learn some of the most profound things about my faith from non-Christian elements. John Mayer has a new song out for the soundtrack of "The Bucket List"

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to
Say what you need to
Say what you need to say

And now I am asking: "what is your purpose?" I don't want to hear any answers like "to carry forward the work of Jesus..." I want your REAL answer. Search your heart and the REAL answer will be something you don't want to think about or consider. I realize that one of the reasons I am called to be the hands and feet of Jesus is because that is the most dirty part of the body. They are not glamorous, they are abused and weary.

What is your purpose for living? Are you living that way? How do you need to change to live for your purpose?

Please spend sometime in silence thinking and praying.

Clouds in the day, and fire at night

2008-04-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

I taught a lesson a couple weeks ago, and then was blessed to hear a similar sermon this last Sunday from a friend, about the authority of Jesus.

Matt 7:28-29
When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

The ideas that I had were echoed by my friend's sermon (which is encouraging because he is a veteran in the pulpit. Yes Ike, I called you old!). Jesus, and to a great extent the 12 apostles and Paul, carried themselves differently than most. They had no fear other than an incomplete mission. I believe the reason for this was deep adoption of identity in Yahweh. These men understood that they were who Yahweh says they are, no more, and most important in our society - no less. Authority was born from this awareness.

I have been studying some Jewish theology lately in order to better understand my Rabbi. This idea of identity in Yahweh holds deep Jewish roots. Israel found their identity in Yahweh on a regular basis. It is largely thought that Israel's identity was found in their obedience to Torah. This is only slightly true. The Jewish thought is that obedience to Torah is required, yet no one was capable of obeying completely. Identity was found in Yahweh's deliverance, which is not a far thought from the Christian idea of identity in Yahweh's grace and mercy through Jesus Christ.

As I dive deeper into Jewish thoughts and ideas, I find that our beliefs are not that far apart. We seem to be following the same pillar of clouds and fire.

Old Friends!

2008-04-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

We were blessed to spend some time with old friends in Portland at the PUMP Church of Christ. We love you guys!

my new computer!

2008-04-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

I just built a new computer, I love it cause it's fast! Here is what I got:
Asus MSN32 sli ready premium motherboard with IR port for remote, and aux lcd screen for hardware readouts, email reading, and RSS feeds while I'm in full screen apps!
AMD dual core 6000 3.0 ghz processor
2 - 2gb sticks of XMS 800 speed memory
Evga nvidia 9600 video card with 512mb ram
Ultra full tower case
2 120mm fans - 110 cfm, other fans run max at about 35 - 50 cfm!
Western Digital 500gb sata HD
Windows Vista x64 (Vista is awesome and worth the money!)
I'm having fun and geeking out!

Also, on Sunday we had church service in our living room. We had visitors as well as regulars. I wore slacks and a t-shirt, tell all your friends.

I was tagged! v 2.0 - 123

2008-02-29T10:21:00.000-08:00

[Directions]

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
Find Page 123. Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences (in other words start posting at sentence #6).
Tag 5 people.

"Yet Adam was created in God's perfect image, with no scars and nothing to hide until after the Fall. This question may offend some Jews, and for that I apologize in advance, but within this context it simply must be asked: Could the hidden disfigurement of circumcision symbolize the idea that the priest - representing all the people - had something to hide, just as the fallen Adam did? Similarly, could a new mother's uncleaness come from her part in bringing another sin-addicted soul into the world? And could a woman's pain in childbirth - which is unnatural according to Genesis - be intended to remind us of our loving God's pain at the other end of life, at our death, which is also unnatural?

For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declare the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!
- Ezekiel 18:32
Every painful birth heralds an eventual death, and both are part of the curse that Adam and Eve received as the result of the original sin."

I am breaking the rules, I will not tag 5 people. If you read this and have not yet done it, you are tagged!

I was tagged!

2008-02-29T09:51:00.000-08:00

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Service Level Coordinator for T-Mobile
2. Chapel Coordinator for Cascade College
3. PSP Director/Intern
4. Lawn Mower - this was my own business when I was about 13

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. Transformers
2. Fight Club
3. Elf
4. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (my favorite Disney movie)

Four places I have lived:
1. Portland, OR
2. Redmond, OR
3. Vancouver, WA

that's all folks!

Four TV Shows that I watch
1. Good Eats
2. Sponge Bob Square Pants
3. Man vs. Wild
4. What's with that house?

Four places I have been:
1. Muncie, IN
2. Danville, KY
3. Prescott, AZ
4. Caldwell, ID

Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
1. Kayte - my boss
2. Various sales guys from Sweatwater
3. Urban Dictionary word of the day
4. Washington Mutual - when the balance on my checking account is low (more often than I wish!)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Ice Cream
2. Popcorn
3. Hebrew National Hot Dogs (Jews really know how to make good meat!)
4. Raw carrots and celery

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Anywhere in Mexico (preferably in the mountains)
2. Outside working in my yard
3. In & Out Burger
4. PUMP Sunday morning praise time

Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year (next 12 months):
1. Financial Peace University
2. Camping
3. Going to a University of Oklahoma Sooners football game with my friend Jim
4. Taking a trip to the coast with my wife and no kids

Four significant/memorable gifts I have received:
1. Isaac
2. Andrew
3. Hannah
4. Moriyah

Four Books that have impacted me the greatest:
1. Matthew inspired by Yahweh
2. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey
3. Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulgham
4. Through Painted Deserts by Don Miller

Four People who have changed my thinking and continue to do so:
1. Jesus the rabbi
2. My best friend Sarah
3. The Apostle Paul
4. The Reverend Ike Graul

Question

2008-01-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

What is the difference between faith and courage?

I look forward to your thoughts!

I love my job!

2007-08-22T23:22:00.001-07:00

I had a training workshop today at work before I start in a new department. Many thoughts were passed on and some were very good. The one I can't let go of is the T-Mobilized version of the serenity prayer:
"Grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change, courage to change the people I can, and the wisdom to know it's me."
This is an internal saying we are using to develop better customer service. But I love what it says about how to make disciples. I almost cried right there in my training.

T-mobile is the best!

Where is that damn narrow gate?

2007-07-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

When Jesus said: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” I don't think he meant that we should try to disciple everyone...

After Jesus had healed the demon possessed man in the region of the Gerasenes, sending the demons into a herd of pigs (a much more dramatic conversion story than that of the apostles) the once possessed man wasn't even invited to follow Jesus. “The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.” Luke 8:38- 39. For one reason or another this man was not disciple material. Luke even tells this story following the parable of the sower in which Jesus tells us that there is good and bad soil. I have found that Luke is very intentional in how he crafts his writings, so I don't think this combination is a coincidence.

This teaching difficult to adopt in our current “more is better” culture. Jesus clearly tells us that more is indeed not better. And yet we are consumed in our 'evangelism' efforts with numbers. The amount of people we baptize or have in service on Sunday mornings defines our success. It has become an extremely daunting task to develop a culture of quality in our church family. It is a discussion we have weekly, something like: “we need to set a goal of 200 souls saved by October of next year!” While I appreciate the ambition and passion that accompanies this statement, I am not sold it is what Jesus asked us to do.

Pleas don't misunderstand this to mean that I will not Goodnews anyone I come into contact with, but not everyone will find that mysterious narrow gate. I feel the biggest problem with our discipleship efforts is that we get constipated on evangelism. The Gospel is not something we should take time out of our busy day to do, it is our purpose for our busy day. The business is our ministry, and until we understand that 12 people completely sold out for Jesus are far more dangerous than 200 people who are not, we are swimming up a waterfall trying to accomplish the incredibly large mission Jesus gave us.

I am thankful Yahweh is big enough that the mission can be completed some day, but we better follow Jesus.

And by the way...

the reason we didn't move back to Portland is because our pillar of cloud/fire is still here in Redmond. I am confident that Yahweh will lead us back eventually, but we will only move when he says “GO!” and it won't be only to be with our friends and family again, but to plant a church in SE Portland. Until then we will wonder in the wilderness.

To Redmond, or not to Redmond

2007-07-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

So we took a trip to Portland a few weeks ago and came home aching to move back to Portland. We almost did it, really, almost. Our time in Redmond has been bittersweet. There are parts of this place that we would miss greatly, and there are things that I would love to forget. My vision is to someday plant a church in SE Portland, it is my favorite part of the city, and the neighborhood that I grew up going to church in. I kind of feel being in Redmond is part of my Pauline journey. Most of my Bible hero's spent time growing in the desert before they were ready for their ministries. Jesus, Paul, and Moses all spent time in the desert maturing into the leaders we know them to be. I feel like that is what we are doing.

Some really good things are happening:

I have a fantastic job - T-mobile treats their employees very well, my benefits are better than what Sarah would have as a teacher, I am promoting fast, and I have an opportunity to win a trip to Las Vegas for 4 days based on my performance!
We spend good quality time with Sarah's Mom and Step dad - we have not had as many opportunities of late, but every time I hang out with Herald we have discussions about spirituality. *please pray for Herald and Jean (and kids Hayley and Hunter), Herald is in a very serious level of alcoholism, at this point in his life if he were to stop drinking he would die of shock to his system, only hospitalized treatment will cure him, but he is not willing.
We are working on a church plant with some friends who went to Columbia College and Southwest. We are three families strong now and praying for opportunities to grow. This process is bursting with pain. I have taken more of a backseat/observer/follower role to the more wise and experienced leaders in our group. However I think we are going about his thing the wrong way, it has been a great experience for us, and we really love our new family.

We really miss Portland and more importantly our dear family and friends there, we will come home sometime, just not yet.

Healing Power

2007-07-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

By request, I post again:
Act 3:1One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer–at three in the afternoon.
Act 3:2 Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts.
Act 3:3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money.
Act 3:4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!”
Act 3:5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.
Act 3:6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”
Act 3:7 Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong.
Act 3:8 He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.
Act 3:9 When all the people saw him walking and praising God,
Act 3:10 they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

As we work on panting a Church here in Central Oregon, I can't help but think that healing people is the key to ministry with Jesus. I have not yet discovered how to physically heal people, I think it takes more faith than I have. But I think we have a different ailment now than was in New Testament times. Physical hurting in most cases can be fixed with treatment from doctors. Our ailment is false sense of self. We struggle with understanding how we fit in with those around us. We all desire to be cool, and yet we make it so hard for others to feel accepted. I believe the gospel calls us to heal people, and I think that comes in the form of relationships. I don't have enough resources to feed all the hungry people in Redmond, nor do I think a meal will solve the true problems for those who are hungry. Being a friend and letting that person know that God cares about them, and I care about them is really what most people are hungry for. Even those who stuff themselves at every meal. So at our Church I am trying to convince people that they have the power to heal. Well, actually that Jesus has the power to heal, and we just need to get out of the way.

Keep the villain in Christmas!

2006-12-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Conversation in the car after our visit to a church on Sunday morning:

Andrew: "You gotta see these villains I drew!"
Isaac: "Cool!"
Sarah: "Did you draw villains in the nativity scene coloring book you got at church today?"
Andrew: "Yeah..."

A wiseman is a great disguise for a supervillain!

Mt. Jefferson

2006-12-12T21:53:00.000-08:00

I woke the kids up early on Sunday and we set out to play in the snow for a few hours. We tubed, hiked, and played in a great snow fort. The day was great, I love being 30 min from great snow!
Eat your hart out!

*These pictures were taken from a BlackBerry*

Theologically Themed Video Game

2006-12-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

So this is what I want for Christmas.

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.

Check out the rest of the article here - www.talk2action.org

The only thing better than this would be if Brad Pitt and Ed Norton would share in the Lord's Supper before commencing "Fight Club" activities. When I find that branch of the club I am so in.

Also, go listen to the song "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al, it is every Church of Christ guy I know, including me!

It's been a while!

2006-10-30T15:23:00.000-08:00

A few random thoughts floating in my mind:

1. Please forgive my absence in blogger land. Two things have been keeping me from interacting with all of you lately. First we now have 4 children and life is moving at an unbelievable pace. Second, I sit in front of a computer screen for 10 hrs a day at work, it is so freeing to stand up at the end of the day and see real life.

2. John Legend is amazing. He has a new album out now called "Once Again." And he will change the face of R&B as we know it with this album, much like Lauren Hill did years ago. Oddly enough he helped write, produce, and perform the "Miseducationoflaruenhill."

3. Four children is much different than 3. The difference between 2 and 3 was not that noticeable, but 4 has Sarah and I scratching our heads.

4. I got a new phone, a Blackberry Pearl (8100). It is the most awesome phone I have ever seen, you should buy one right now!

5. Oikos church is wonderful! We have gained one member in the last month due to another member having a baby. We also had our first visitor a couple of weeks ago. She seemed overwhelmed, I don't know if she will come back, but I don't care that's between her and her maker. We are currently working to move services to Sarah's mom's house, pray for us.

Oikos

2006-09-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

I was privileged today, to attend the most awesome church I have ever been too. It was small, but very effective. We had but 6 people show up: Me, Sarah, Isaac, Andrew, Hannah, and a partial Moriyah. Service was around 10:30, in the living room. Dress code was (at least for me) pajamas. Isaac lead singing, Andrew lead the Lord's Supper, and I lead the discussion. This was an impromptu church service on the day of Sarah's birthday, born of the frustration I have been feeling to praise and worship in a community unbound by cultural expectations. I have not felt free to celebrate Jesus since we moved, until today. We clapped, danced, sang, and stomped. It was lively. We were preached to from Matthew chapter 4, the great temptation, and a challenging discussion followed. It was a day of liberation for me. My favorite part was being with people who are as interested in following Jesus as me. Even though I live with these people I had been blind to this attitude among them.

And so, I would like to publicly declare the opening of a new church in Redmond, Oregon: Oikos Church of Christ. Oikos (pronounced hoi-kos) means house or home. Or rather the community that you would find in one's house or home. I don't know if we will meet every Sunday, or once a month, or if we will ever meet again at all. But I think that the Kingdom revolution looks like dancing, singing, and praying children. Keep us in your prayers.

A very good ego hit

2006-09-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am a stubborn person. I have named all three of our earth walking children, and so I assumed that the fourth (and last) I would name as well. But my beautiful wife is also a genius, and beat me this round. However I will beat her to the punch and announce Wolfgang baby #4's name:

Moriyah Jean

Moriyah is Hebrew for "instructed by Yahweh," and Jean means "God is gracious." Jean is Sarah's mom's name, and my mom and sister's middle name.

The sweetest sound I've ever heard

2006-09-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hannah loves to sing! Yeah! She sings everythig from "Ducks like rain" to "Moon, moon, moon." But my favorite is when she sings "Jesus, I want to be like you."

I got tagged too

2006-09-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

A book that changed my life besides the Bible:
Seven habits of highly effective people - Stephen Covey
My friend articulates the importance of this book very well: “Jesus tells me to love my neighbor as my self, this book teaches me to love my self, and then how to love my neighbor.”

The story of my experiments with truth, an autobiography of Mohandis Gandhi
This book taught me simplicity

A book I’ve read more than once:
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

A book I would take with me if I were stuck on a desert island:
Everything I need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten – Robert Fulgham
or
Lord of the Flies – William Golding

A book that made me laugh:
Through Painted Deserts – Don Miller
My favorite Miller book, and I laughed hard!

A book that I wish had been written:
poetry, I've always wanted to write poetry.
I wish Jesus' mother, Mary would have written a book from her perspective about the Messiah.

A book that I wish had never been written:
I don't know if there are any. However I didn't like Wild at Heart – John Eldridge, but that's another post all together.

A book I’ve been meaning to read:
The Great Omission – Dallas Willard (next book on my list, gotta finish “the brick” first)
A Simple Path – Mother Teresa
The Ragamuffin Gospel – Brennan Manning
End of the Spear – Steve Saint
The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical - Shane Claiborne (if I was not married and had no children, this is the ministry I would be doing)
Searching for God Knows What – Don Miller
The Essential Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson – Ralph Waldo Emerson
something Brian McLaren – I still haven't read any of his stuff

I’m currently reading:
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Covey
The Divine Conspiracy – Dallas Willard
Organic Church – Neil Cole (this is a great book for anyone who is involved in a faith community)
Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John
The Monstrous Memoirs of a Mighty McFearless – Ahmet Zappa (Frank Zappa's son)

Tag your it!
Sarah Wolfgang
Kristi Beeman
Ryan Woods
Steve Maxwell
Emily Wallace

I think we are mistaken!

2006-08-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

We tend to believe that the first church was started in Acts chapter 2. That is a very important instance of the beginning of a church, one that we should study and know. But I don't think it was the first church. This was the first church:

1 He called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out evil* spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.

2 These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3 Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; 4 Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Jesus was the first church planter, and he's been planting churches ever since. Is he leading your church? Do you leave a chair for Jesus at your leadership meetings? The church belongs to Jesus it's about time we allow him to lead it!

A Survey

2006-08-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a friend, a book (Organic Church by Neil Cole), and a calling to plant a church, I ask you this question:

What is Church?

Come Visit and Buy a New Ass

2006-08-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

For all you city folk who are looking to lose some pounds, come visit us and pick up a small ass!

Men Who Know How to Pick

2006-08-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

Temptation of Jesus

2006-08-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

Mat 4:3 And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."
Mat 4:5 Then the devil *took Him into the holy city and had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple,
Mat 4:6 and *said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for it is written, 'HE WILL COMMAND HIS ANGELS CONCERNING YOU'; and 'ON {their} HANDS THEY WILL BEAR YOU UP, SO THAT YOU WILL NOT STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.'"
Mat 4:8 Again, the devil *took Him to a very high mountain and *showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory;
Mat 4:9 and he said to Him, "All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me."

I always thought this was silly. I mean who does the Devil think he's kidding? It's like tempting me to go and murder my children and then I get a new car, Uh no thanks. I never understood why the devil was even wasting his time. And then I had one of those "aha" moments. Satan was tempting Jesus with an alternate plan. Satan said to Jesus, "you can sit on the throne of power without being the suffering servant, AND you can glorify your father, just do it this way." That would be tempting. No beatings, no nails, no cross, you got a pretty phat offer there satan.

Thank you Jesus for being a stronger man than I, for standing up for what you believe even when it was hard.

Careful What You Preach

2006-07-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

Mat 7:16	You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles?
Mat 7:17	So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit.
Mat 7:18	A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.
Mat 7:19	Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
Mat 7:20	Thus you will know them by their fruits.

Does the Gospel I preach and teach have a natural tendency to cause people who hear it to become full-time students of Jesus?
Would those who believe it become his apprentices as a natural "next step"?
What can we reasonably expect would result from people actually believing the substance of my message?
Dallas Willard - The Divine Conspiracy (pg 58)

Sow a bad seed, reap a bad fruit. It's not rocket science people!

Hosea you are the man!

2006-07-10T23:10:00.000-07:00

As I read the book of Hosea I am struck by two things.

1. That dude had a pair. I mean it. He believed in Yahweh. He really believed. Yahweh told Hosea to marry a harlot, and have harlot children. What an ego blow to know that every guy in town has been with your wife, and your children might not be your own. But Hosea did it. He had faith that Yahweh knew better than he did. It makes me cringe because I know what Yahweh wants me to do, and often it is nothing close to what he asked Hosea to do, but I choose me instead. Yahweh asks me to love all people as I love my self, but I still pass judgment. Yahweh asks me to love my wife as Christ loves the church, but I really love my self.

Hosea was the kind of servant I want to be, he was all in. There was no sitting on the fence, he knew what had to be done and he did it. He may have had questions, but he wasn't about to disappoint the Father. I burn to be a doer.

Father open my eyes and my heart to see what it is you are asking me to do, and give me the humility to forget myself.

2. Yahweh knows us better than we think. He wants to give us wonderful things to enjoy, but he will not hesitate to take them away. He made me and He can take me apart. I forget this sometimes. I really like stuff. Often I want. But the Lord has already blessed me with more than I need. I am content. And sometimes I think to my self, "hey, look what I did. I made that. I worked hard for that." I imagine that Yahweh looks at me shakes his head. I don't have two sticks to rub together with out Yahweh, I better watch my self.

Father I am so thankful for the way you have blessed me and my family. Everyday I enjoy the things you have given to me, and I thank you. I am sorry I am selfish, forgive me.

Dogma - The Secret of Life Revealed

2006-07-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy Kevin Smith and his writing/directing prowess. But I think the best of his creations is Dogma. This is a brilliant movie which makes fun of religion - sometimes distastefully. But unlike most Hollywood political agenda's, Kevin Smith's movie offers a solution. Kevin refutes many of the Catholic churches (and others for that matter) traditions. The basic gist of the movie is we have lost site of true spirituality in our hypocritical religiosity. He then suggests that true spirituality is found in faith and ideas (not beliefs) shared in our relationships. I love this thought and I think it has a great Biblical model - Jesus.

Jesus and his apostles did not plan and execute vacation Bible schools, clothing drives, Christmas services, seeker services, coffee houses, and any other church outreach activities. Smith implies that these things corrupt the truth, but fit our agenda. Jesus and his apostles just lived! The most important thing to Jesus were all the people who crossed his path every day. He made time and effort to love them in extraordinary ways. He also concerned him self with deepening his friendship with his father and his apostles. He took time to be with his friends and talk with his friends challenging them to be true disciples. I think about Yahweh creating me for the purpose of having relationship with him, and I can't help but think that he enjoys our relationships too. The relationships we have with each other are extensions of our relationship with Yahweh. We are created to be in relationships with anyone and everyone for the purpose of teaching and giving Yahweh's love.

"Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn't offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You didn't give me a kiss of greeting, but she has kissed my feet again and again from the time I first came in. 46 You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. 47 I tell you, her sins-and they are many-have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love." 48 Then Jesus said to the woman, "Your sins are forgiven."
Luke 7:44-48

PSP 2006

2006-06-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 2006 PSP kickoff. A program run by my "Home" church in Portland. It is about a month and a half Bible day camp for kids in north Portland. PSP is very dear to my heart. Having worked at PSP for two summers, it still feels a little like my baby I had to push out of the nest.

I hope all is well friends, I am praying for you. You will change some kids lives this summer when you show those kids that Jesus is looking for them. Thank you PUMP staff, PSP directors, and PSP interns for giving up your summer fun to work for the kingdom. I know it is hard, but come August you will wish there was just one more week! God bless!

The Brick Testament

2006-06-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

On a lighter note, check out this link. This guy is an atheist, his father is a pastor, and that = rebellion!

Patriotism: The Sin No One Wants to Notice

2006-06-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yes - I am thankful that I live in America where we have an abundance of freedom.

Yes - I am concerned and pray for the soldiers who are fighting for America.

But - We have ventured into some dangerous territory with our worship of our country. I think our churches have encouraged this. Which is why most Americans think Christians are republican, gun totin'', country music lovin', 4x4 drivin', flag wavin'' people. To most we are, in a nutshell, Toby Keith. I don't like it.

And - I consider fighting for my country to be idolatry. I will not fight for any cause but that of the Gospel. And the Gospel calls me to be a peace maker, I will not fight.

At church today we had independence day service. This week is VBS so next Sunday is something specials related to VBS, so independence day fell to today. We sang America the Beautiful and had special music that was also patriotic. Then the sermon was from Deuteronomy 28 - "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth." We are dependent upon God for our liberty, prosperity, and freedom, was the message (3 point sermon - take note preacher wannabes). I felt sick to my stomach. We were not worshiping the almighty God, we were worshipping our selves, and what we have made.

Jesus commanded us to "Make disciples of all the nations." He said that the greatest command is to love the Lord your God, with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. He said the second greatest command is to love your neighbor as your self. So why are we worried about our own freedom? I am thankful to live in a place that allows me the freedom to worship, but that freedom was not born on the backs of early Americans, it was born on a cross long before this land was even discovered. Our freedom does not hinge on our physical surroundings, we are free in our souls because...
God loves us,
Jesus died for us,
And we can have hope in the resurrection!

Our hope does not lie on the well being of this country, or any other earthly thing for that matter. Only our egos do.

The Best Present I Ever Got Was...

2006-06-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

a machete on fathers day 2006, thanks Sarah, Isaac, Andrew, and Hannah!

What is your favorite present?

The Amazing Sara Groves

2006-06-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

A friend gave me a CD to listen to before I moved. It was Past the Wishing by Sara Groves. And now I can't stop listening to it. It is an absolute masterpiece. Not the most polished recording, but it doesn't matter. Sara has an incredible gift for lyrics. She uses fairly ordinary words, but creates incredible word paintings.

Most good music makes me break out in song, Sara Groves inspires deep, meaningful thought. I am shocked at this difference. I have never experienced music in this way. I can not sing for fear of disrupting the beautiful story that is being told, I must only reflect, I must only be.

Sara, if you are reading, please continue your ministry. Your words and music inspire me to go, be, and do. I thank you.

Discipleship Through Yugioh

2006-06-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know Isaac know he loves yugioh cards. Not long ago I felt like I was loosing a relationship with him to his friends and his cards. So, I bought my own yugioh cards in hopes that I could regain hero status. It worked well. I was the talk of every 6-14 year old kid in our apartment complex. I was the dad you could brag to your friends about. It was great. The novelty has worn off a little, but we still play cards quite often. And now I am discovering a better side effect of yugioh than I imagined. I am teaching my son my life wisdom through the game, and he is teaching me humility.

Isaac beats me 3 out of every 4 games and it really hurts. I am way older and smarter than him. And I beat him 4 straight when I first got my cards, so it stings quite a bit. He is teaching me that winning isn't the whole picture.

Tonight, after Isaac stomped me, he commented that I should buy the new deluxe package of yugioh with stronger cards that would beat him (he could sense my defeated frustration). It was a great opportunity for us to talk about greed. I told him that I didn't need new, stronger cards to beat him. I just need to learn from my mistakes and try harder next time. I am teaching him character and integrity.

Yugioh is great!

Interruptions?

2006-06-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here we are in Redmond, boxes and all. We are enjoying our new home and the wonderful weather (finally today it stopped raining)! But we are missing our church family greatly. We chose to go to a large Baptist church on Sunday, partially because it is only 4 blocks away. There were two services 8:15 and 11 with classes sandwiched in between. The early service is the "contemporary" service, while the 11 o'clock service is the "hymn" service. We wanted to sleep in, so we went at 11. My first observation was that we were the only people under 55 at the service, too late though we were already there. The service was not bad, old hymns I remember singing in church as a kid. We sang "Victory in Jesus" and "Footprints of Jesus" accompanied by a pipe organ. It was soooo Organ Grinder, I loved it, but it made me miss my Dad who would have loved it more than me (he always dreamed of playing at the Organ Grinder). Then Pastor Smart stood up to preach, I kid you not, Pastor Smart. And this is where service went all wrong. He is a descent preacher, very comfortable and funny, but he reached a bit.

He preached from Luke chapter 8, the story of Jairus and his dying daughter, and the unclean woman who wanted to touch Jesus' cloak. He compared Jairus, his daughter, and the unclean woman to flat tires, traffic tickets, and miscommunication calling all of them "interruptions!" INTERRUPTIONS!!! Come on Smart, what the hell are you thinking? His question was this: Jesus teaches us how to live, so what can we learn about how to deal with interruptions. I wanted to stand up and yell at him but Sarah wouldn't let me.

Here's my problem with Smart.

First of all, comparing hurting souls to car trouble and traffic tickets is absurd. They are not even in the same universe. It is a ridiculous example of how Starbucks/McDonald's like our churches have become, packaging spirituality in a way to make people happy, seeking the path of least resistance. Smart deliverd a message that was so pc it challenged his congregation to do nothing but feel good about shrugging off hurting souls in order to get back to your mission for the moment. A fastfood response to a complicated problem.

Second, hurting souls were not interruptions of Jesus' mission, they ARE his mission. The problem was Smart was asking the wrong question. Instead of asking how to deal with interruptions, we need to ask what attitude to have so that hurting souls become our mission and not interruptions. Jesus showed us EXPLICITLY, in this story from Luke 8, that interruptions are what he was all about. The unclean woman interrupted the effort to save Jairus' daughter, yet she was important enough for Jesus to give his attention even in a life or death situation like. Our everyday schedules and appointments are far less important than what Jesus was doing, so how much more should we be available to deal with interruptions. Nice job Smart, I won't be back.

Happy Birthday!

2006-05-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

It's already been one year, my how she has blessed us. I love you Hannah!

Boys II Men

2006-04-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today was the first time I can remember Isaac and Andrew choosing to play with friends instead of me. How depressing. From this point on I will never be as cool to them as I was yesterday. All I can do is be ready to play when they want to, and I will.

This comes on the same day that Hannah said "Isaac" for the first time. My how they grow so fast.

Naming rights

2006-03-23T01:31:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't heard, we are having another baby. Yeah! This will be our fourth and final birth. We are truly blessed and thankful for this gift. The baby is due in October, four months after our big move to Redmond, Oregon.

I love to go on option adventures to discover names for our children. I have named all of our land dwelling children, and I look forward to naming the womb dwelling child in the next few months. However, it has now become a ego adventure rather than a quest for a glorious name. Here is our pattern. Adam discovers names he likes, Sarah discovers names she likes. Adam tells Sarah his discoveries, Sarah makes a gross I-had-to-eat-liver face. Adam presses on for months selling his discovery. Sarah - tired, pregnant, and irritated finally gives in to Adams discovery. This has been the pattern more or less for Isaac, Andrew, and Hannah. And so now we begin again. This time though I am trying to be more open minded, but the 3-1 blemished record would not sit well with me. Pray that I discover a name that both Sarah and I find satisfying.

I like Samuel, or Norah. Although I could be talked out of Norah as it is not a Bible name, all 5 of us land dwelling Wolfgangs currently have Bible names. I would also like to keep that streak alive. We are praying for another girl, so that name is important to both of us. Sarah gave me the look already, so now I embark on the journey to hone in on one glorious name, and sell it to Sarah. Of course by September she will give in, I hope!

I'm addicted to...Well, me!

2006-03-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

I don't like the word addiction because it infers that I am a victim. I believe that all my addictions are things I am choosing. There are many things I choose over Jesus, Sarah, and my children. Most of the things I choose over them are to please my self. Most of the time I can rationalize it by saying "I need (fill in the blank)."

This makes me wonder how much I actually need. Is there any non-physical need that Jesus can not fill? I don't think there is. Some of my psychologically knowledgeable friends might tell me otherwise - they might tell me that I have emotional needs. But I believe that Yahweh can fill those if I trust he will provide.

I feel trapped by that tension between want and need.

The Rules of Jesus Club

2006-02-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

First rule of Jesus Club is: you don't talk about Jesus Club!
Jesus Club is not for the faint of heart. It is all or nothing. We don't talk about it because the outside world can't handle it.

Second rule of Jesus Club is: you must choose to do what Jesus is doing, especially when it is inconvenient or humiliating.
Jesus Club is not for the faint of heart. It is all or nothing. We can't talk about following Jesus and then not do it.

Third rule of Jesus Club is: you must stop worrying about what others think of you.
Jesus Club is not for the faint of heart. It is all or nothing. If we are following Jesus everywhere he is going, people WILL think we are crazy.

Fourth rule of Jesus Club is: you are responsible for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical health.
Jesus Club is not for the faint of heart. It is all or nothing. If we are not in shape we will be eaten alive.

Fifth rule of Jesus Club is: laziness is not an option.
Jesus Club is not for the faint of heart. It is all or nothing. Time is of the essence, Jesus may come back at any moment. Convenience is a crutch.

More to follow......

A Friend in Need

2006-02-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

A new friend of mine is now homeless. He had been paying rent to his roommate for a few months, but his roommate was not paying the landlord - they have been evicted. He is living on the front porch of a Church around the corner from my store. I don't know how to help him. I want to take him home and offer him whatever I have, but I don't know if that's the wisest choice. I call him my friend, but really I don't know him at all. I'm just all he's got. I'm going to see him tomorrow, please pray for the Lord to give me wisdom, and my friend a home.

My Mirrors Broken

2006-02-13T23:07:00.000-08:00

I am faced with a new temptation - ego. I have had ego problems in the past, but this is different.

A friend of mine sold me on the idea of becoming a mirror image of Jesus. A person who reflects Jesus to all who see me. I have been working hard. I gave up addictions, some of which I enjoyed. And now, while I am not really mistaken for Jesus, I have grown leaps and bounds. And it pisses me off! Because now I am being taken advantage of. Now no one is looking out for me. Now I am stuck in this hole trying to look like Jesus, and no one can find ME! At least it feels that way, remember I know I'm still not good at being Jesus.

Satan is tempting me to give up. He wants me to feel lonely and overlooked so I will get frustrated and go back to being selfish.

Jesus is telling me to keep going. He says feel lonely and overlooked to become selfless.

It's the cost for the cause of Christ - people will see Jesus if they can't see me. Paul understood how hard this is: "Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross. Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" Philippians 2:3-11

I'll get my mirror fixed.

Jesus Club

2006-02-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

"If the Apostle Paul were to return to earth today, I believe he would call the entire American Church to return to the discipline of the secret. This ancient practice of the apostolic church was implemented to protect the sacred name of Jess Christ from mockery and the mysteries of the Christian faith from profanation. The ancient Church avoided mention of Baptism, Eucharist, and the death and resurrection of Christ in the presence of he unbaptized. Why? Because the most persuasive witness was the way one lived, not the words one spoke...The problem in the American Church is not that something has been hidden but that not enough has stayed hidden. Let the Church go underground for the rest of the nineties. As it lowers its profile, let it raise the ante for membership. We are the Church. Let us present to the world the image of a servant community, and let us preserve the beauty of the gospel not with showy, defense fervor but with an intense interior life of prayer and worship, service, and a manner of living that only can be explained in terms of God."

Brennan Manning - The Signature of Jesus

"First rule of Fight Club - you don't talk about Fight Club!"

Tyler Durden - Fight Club

Detoxing from Church

2006-01-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

I found this blog very interesting and convicting - I articulates many of my chaotic thoughts.

The Off Ramp

Imaginary Lord

2006-01-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

In the book Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller writes: "It feels as if believing in God was no more rational than having an imaginary friend." I think that Don has never had an imaginary friend. After I read this it clicked - I think deep faith requires wild imagination.

I had an imaginary friend once, her name was Honey. She was a live-in girl friend of sorts. We did everything together, I even remember bringing an extra chair to the diner table for her, which my parents tolerated. We were very close, I told her everything about me. She new what I liked and what I didn't, what I felt, and what my mood was. It was hard to get her to be as open as me, but regardless we shared a certain intimacy.

I think my relationship with Honey has prepared me for a deeper understanding of a God who is like a genie in a lamp - "Enormous cosmic powers, in a itty-bitty living space." God's all encompassing existence does not keep him from being my best (imaginary) friend, in who I will confide my likes, dislikes, feelings, and deepest secrets.

What"s in a Name?

2006-01-11T00:59:00.000-08:00

A question I am still searching for an answer to...

Why do we call Jesus by his name, Satan by his name, but we call God by his title? Why don't we call him Yahweh, or AM, the names he gave to the Isrealites. I feel this name conundrum limits my understanding of the intimate nature of Yahweh. He desires to be my living friend, like Jesus, he's not dead, nor is he remote, so why are we so impersonal? Is it just a comfort issue? Like when people call Yahweh daddy, that is just a little wierd. What do you think?

Me, I'm gonna start a revolution to call him Yahweh.

Here I am, Come and get Me!

2006-01-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

My 8 month old daughter does not like to go to sleep. She really wants to be a part of everything that is going on. She does not have the wisdom to know that she needs to sleep, that is my job. Sometimes she's more interested than others, but usually I have to probe her to find the best way to convince her to sleep is. Sometimes she needs a bottle, other times ten minutes in the rocking chair, and in the most dire circumstances - daddy to walk her around the house. I always seem to find the right way to get at her, it may take a few tries, but eventually I win!

I think Yahweh comes at me that way. Sometimes I'm more interested in him, other times I'm not. He keeps coming, looking for the smallest crack to squeeze through to find me - and he always does. He comes to me where I am. I imagine, just like putting Hannah to bed, there are times that are easier than others. No matter, he comes to me. Yahweh seeks me out, and finds me, and eventually He wins!

So - I believe that method to be the ONLY way to effectively share Yahweh's love with others. I can not expect people to understand him and his love through my perspective. Yahweh will come at them the way they need to be put to sleep. He will rock them, feed them, or walk with them until they feel the security of his presence. I must love people in this way. Understanding life from their circumstances. If a friend is broken, I will choose to be broken in love with him. If a stranger is celebrating, I will choose to celebrate with her.

Of course as in all things Yahweh is far wiser than I - so I ask: "Lord, give me wisdom to know how to love my neighbor."

Catch Me if You Can

2005-12-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

I struggle with devotion time. I desire to have an intimate time - just me and Yahweh - chewing on some scripture - spilling our deepest secrets and thoughts. I just don't do it. I have a million excuses. None of them are legitimate. Oh, I wish to be a disciplined person.

BUT...

Yahweh chases me! Even though I do not seek him - he seeks me. I get followed to the highest mountain peaks, and to the lowest valley. I do not find him in his word - so he finds me in his world. He finds me in movies, television shows, strangers on the bus, friends, books, newspaper articles, internet sites, blogs, trees, leaves, wind, animals, machines, my wife, and my children. Yahweh always finds me. I am thankful I am not lost, I can orient my self in anything I pass by.

BUT...

I will continue to long for closeness. I will strive for the secret to discipline. I will struggle to prioritize. And I will follow when he finds me.

Jason is my Peter Pan

2005-12-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

My friend Jason recently lost his tree house. Many people cried out to God for answers. Jason wondered why his tree house is so important to so many people. So, I thought about a while, and this is why it's important to me, rather why you are important to me:

Everyday I am disgusted at some of the small choices I watch my kids make. When Isaac goes outside he rarely puts on a coat, and if he does it's no more than a sweatshirt. We live about a mile from Troutdale - the windiest place on earth, and it gets cold. I don't get it. He says he's not cold, but I don't believe him, yet when we are outside he doesn't complain.

Andrew (my other son) thinks that playing is the only thing I should ever do. He wants for us to play a never ending game of battling guys. I don't mind playing this game with him for a while, but I have bills to pay, chores to do, and blogs to read. Why can't he understand that the life of an adult is more complicated than he knows? Because Andrew doesn't understand this social expectation he lashes out to force the issue. Usually this comes in the form of bugging his sister.

Jason, you and your tree condo, call me to examine my priorities. Sometimes I am devoted to living in a simple way - Isaac, Andrew, and Hannah get all my attention, during those times you encourage me to be creative in our play. The possibilities are endless with the knowledge of a friend down the street who is building a tree house - note that he has no children himself. You call me to be a more creative father. Other times I am not giving the attention my kids need. During those times you call me to re-devote my self to my priorities.

But most of all you call me to a life that embraces the slogan: "I don't wanna grow up!" I love that idea, not because I am afraid to grow up, but because as I get older I make life more complicated with my selfish choices. It's okay not to wear a coat outside in winter, I did it all the time as a kid, and it's okay to ignore the social expectations for adults because my kids are more important than anything else. I need to overlook the little things so I can focus on the big things.

Jason, you have sprinkled fairy dust on all of us, asked us to think good thoughts, and lead us to Neverland - your tree house.

It's Guy Code

2005-12-01T11:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many guys actually know about this code, most comply but are not aware of its existence. The code is very much a part of the social contract between guys. The part that I don't understand is the "every other" section, which should be renamed the "intimacy intolerancy" pledge. The "every other" rule states: no guy shall be directly next to another guy. There must always be an "other" in between. Women, dogs, pillows, or empty space will work to fill the "other" role.

This is absurd guys. We are so afraid of getting close. I'm tired of sitting every other seat in a movie theater. I'm sick of choosing to stand on the bus when there are no free seats that contain empty space, or women in the others next to it. I'm weary of handshakes instead of hugs, I'm done with the action adventure or comedy movie expectation - I like artsie films.

And so I say to all I am breaking away, creating my own code. I will watch chic flicks and cry if I feel like it. I will sit next to my Man date without an empty seat in between. I will hug my Man friends. I will always choose the middle urinal.

It's time for a revolution!

Messy Car

2005-11-28T22:53:00.000-08:00

I live a messy life. There is no better evidence of this than my 1996 Chevy Corsica. It's not much, but it's paid for and reliable - what more could I ask for (praise the Lord!). But, our car has more wear and tear than a bar stool in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's day. Yeah, that bad. There are two month-old water bottles floating atop of various stains and spills. Apple Jacks are ground into the back seat. A sticky substance graces every handle. Warning, don't ask for a ride.
I desire order, neatness, and cleanliness, but I have so many other priorities that my car is often forgotten. It has been an unsightly sore for me lately. I am quite embarrassed at gas stations and drive-thrus. However, I have found some peace in this thought: my car reflects my humility. I say that in the most humble manner. My car is not an idol. It is not a symbol of social stature. It does not take my time away from more important matters. It does it's job, and we treat it to an oil change every 3,000 miles or so. The Lord knows that I have enough things in my life to be arrogant about, a nice car is not one of them. I am thankful for that, and I have found peace in my messiness. My car is a reflection of who I am: Late model, messy, not flashy, yet able to catch attention due to the mess. I am a messy car.

A Conversation Between a Messy Car and a Clean Car
a poem by Adam Wolfgang

The clean car says, "I am the expectation."
The messy car says, "I am reality."

The clean car says, "I am a necessity."
The messy car says, "I am a privilege."

The clean car says, "I am an obsession."
The messy car says, "I am part of the family."

The clean car says, "I am beautiful."
The messy car says, "I have character."

The clean car says, "I am lonely."
The messy car says, "I am loved."

Hope in "Extreme Makeover"

2005-11-27T22:33:00.000-08:00

I believe our world is constantly distracted by the "car crash" syndrome. We are attracted to disasters. When ever there is an accident on the freeway, no matter what lane or direction the accident is in, the entire community of vehicles is slowed to a crawl until they are past the car crash. Again, it doesn't matter if the crash is in your lane, or even on your side of the freeway, everyone stops to look. We seemed to be amazed by the possibility of destruction. Will I get to see a dead person? How thrashed are the cars? Oh, look is that bio-hazardous waste seeping into the ground? COOL!!! I see this most tangibly manifested in the types of reality tv shows that the networks put on. "Nanny 911", "The Biggest Loser", and "The Swan" are all marketing to people with this syndrome.

I am saddened by this perspective on life. At times I too come down with a 24 hour version of this syndrome. I feel as if the world may come to an end at any moment. When I pay attention to the car crash I loose sight of the police men, fire men, and pedestrians that have all sacrificed to aid in reconciling the situation. I long to be disinterested in car crashes, and riveted by good Samaritans. That is why I find hope in the tv show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition".
This show does show a car crash, usually a family in dire need of humanitarian help. Most have experienced great tragedy. ABC then swoops in, gives the family a week long vacation, and remodels, or rebuilds their house. The show focuses not on the car crash, but on the road to healing, while encouraging viewers to learn about life through a families tragedies.

I LOVE IT. I nearly cry every time I see the show. For me it is a triumphal Jesus, dancing on pessimistic tendencies of sinful nature. At times I feel bogged down by the pessimistic attitude the devil tries to tempt us with. But, after watching this show I am renewed with a sense of optimism: car crashes are the exception - good Samaritans are the standard.

Pictures

2005-11-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who stirs thought and promotes happieness when he creates pictures. He is a painter and sculpter. The art he creates takes on new life when he is done; moving people to smile, or cry, or jump for reasons he may not have intended. I too share in this hobby. However, the pictures I create are not formed with paint or clay, but with words and music. I enjoy creating word pictures. Some of my word pictures become poems, some become sermons, some become conversations, and some become songs (the songs are not recorded, if you want to hear them ask me, I'll sing them to you), here are a couple I have been working on:

Our Story
Wandering...wandering for forty years - blind,
Searching for a way.
Wondering...wondering if we will have the sight,
To see you here today.

You look like clouds in the day, and fire at night.
Oh, what a story about following the guide.
You took us to the promise land, you did see us through.
That's why I long to see you as a cloud in day, and a fire at night.

Overcast
It's raining, it's pouring.
Can you hear the whole world calling,
For the sun to burn away,
the clouds, the rain, and all the gray.

It's raining, it's pouring.
Will you tell your hopeful story,
About a man who came one day,
He gave his life so he could take away - This rainy day

Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants!

2005-11-17T22:14:00.000-08:00

I think you should get rid of your TV!!!!

Isaac and Andrew each picked out a new book at the book fair at their school tonight. Andrew chose the Captain Underpants book. This evening after the busyness of our crisies had subsided, I realized it was rather quite considering the boys were playing unattended. I thought I would inquire as to what they were doing, usually the combination of the two of them and quiet means trouble. To my amazement I found them reading TOGETHER!! Isaac (2nd grade, 4th grade reading level - we learned of this tonight!) was reading Captain Underpants to Andrew. This from the kids who two months ago couldn't say one sentance without uttering something of video games or tv shows. I am still astonished at this feat. We have been without any form of tv for about two weeks (technical difficulties), and without an actual television for about two months (we got a tv tuner for our computer). At first mention of this idea both Isaac and Andrew were heart broken. Not only would there be no tv or vcr, but also no video games. We thought this would be a difficult transition for us, mainly Isaac and Andrew. What we have found is the incredible blessing of forgetfulness. We don't even remember (at least not often) that we have no tv. We are choosing to spend our time and energy on more productive activities, like reading Captain Underpants. Get rid of your tv and expect to be blessed.

I will never forget that book - Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants.

Oh, and by the way, Isaac and Andrew have a blog now. I don't know how long they will stay interested, but they have one and Sarah doesn't, I think that is saying something.

Theme Songs

2005-11-16T21:48:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a local radio station tonight, 106.7 KLITE. They are playing 24/7 Christmas music already, I really enjoy it. However, they have the worst production team I have ever heard. The promo songs are like a car crash, they are so bad I can't not listen. Each radio personality or host seems to have thier own theme jingle, "Happy Hollidays, Happy Hollidays...from Delilah!" Of course they are sung by swanky jazz backround singers. These jingles are also attrocious.
I got to thinking about how cool it is to have a personal theme jingle. I think mine would say: "Careful, listen, like him or not, he's got something to say...here's Adam!" What would your theme jingle say?

Affinity for Elf Culture?

2005-11-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

I am so ready for the Christmas season. I have an affinity for elf culture. I love decorations, lights, and the tree. But the thing I have missed the most is the caroling. Does anyone go caroling any more? I can't remember the last time I went caroling, maybe it was in high school. Oh I have been to many Christmas eve services but it is not the same. We need to get all bundled up carry our cups of hot cocoa, and walk around the PUMP neighborhood spreading good cheer. Because "the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear!"

Do you have a mission?

2005-11-13T21:49:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend this week about having a personal mission statement regarding my role in church. I wonder if we all had a clear self defined purpose for going to the church we choose to go to it might give us a reason to stay at our churches instead of falling victim to the "grass is always greener" bug. Our churches would be far more effective too. Most churches have a mission statement, but it seems impersonal too me. I know what my churches mission statement is, but what does that mean for me? How do I fit in with that statement? I think I will develop my own ministry goal for PUMP that coincides with the mission statement at PUMP. Would this exercise give us all more of an investment in our church?

Mexico Here We Come!

2005-11-11T10:56:00.000-08:00

We are planning a survey trip to Mexico in May/June of 2006. Yes, all of us are going, even Hannah. We will be heading to Cuernavaca for a two week language learning immersion program. We will have class from 8 till 2, Monday through Friday. We will be staying in a homestay with a Mexican family, learning what life in Mexico is like. Then we will (hopefully) heading to Puebla, a large city south east of Mexico city. In Puebla we hope to work with the church there. They are the only self-sustaining church in Mexico, so I've been told. I don't know what work we will be doing, or what things we will learn in Mexico, but we feel called to check it out even if only for a change in worldview. Pray for us as we put together our trip. More information as we uncover it! Buenos Dias!

Family of Artisans

2005-11-09T00:12:00.000-08:00

We have become a family of artists! Not a day goes by that Andrew is not creating some type of art work. Sometimes it's painting or drawing, other times sculptures or jewelry. He always sees the creative angle. Isaac is playing the role of "Wintrop" in the Reynold's High School production of "The Music Man." He is a fantastic actor. It seems to come very naturally to him. Hannah loves music. She sings and dances every chance she gets. I feel truly blessed by my three lovely children. Soon the whole world will know their art!

2 More Hours

2005-10-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Oh, what I could do with two more hours in a day! Where my time goes I do not know. The more I try to manage my time, the less I seem to have. Lord what are you teaching me?

Lost!

2005-06-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am currently working a decent job, it pays the bills. But I long for something different. I feel called to ministry in a more explicit way than I am able to do now. I am looking for a job as a youth minister or worship minister (or some other ministry position I am qualified for). Please pray for me as I struggle keeping patience with God's plan. Also, I want to sing. Music is maybe my biggest tangible passion, and I have no outlet currently.

Lord, lead me where you want me to be. Meanwhile give me strength and patience to keep plugging along. Help me to continue to use the opportunities you give me to speak your Gospel.

Amen.

10 Suggestions?

2005-04-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

At our small group meeting the other night we were discussing the 10 commandments. As I gazed upon the base of God's law, I couldn't help but notice that our culture/society/America only values one of the great commands from the Lord. That one command that is still valued is even on the fence. We still feel that murder is wrong, but abortion is okay. So that one command is somewhat still a part of who we claim to be as Americans. But none of the other commandments are practiced or even given second thought as part of our national identity. It's really sad because they are the foundation for which this nation created it's laws. I am officially embarrassed to call myself an American.

I. - You shall have no other god's before me

II. - You shall not worship or create idols

III. - You shall not misuse the name of God

IV. - Keep the Sabbath day

V. - Honor your father and mother

VI. - You shall not commit murder

VII. - You shall not commit adultery

VIII. - You shall not steal

IX. - You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor

X. - You shall not covet your neighbor's spouse or possessions

Church Family

2005-01-13T10:03:00.000-08:00

What do you look for in a Church family? I love my Church family that I have now, I really feel comfortable whith them. I feel that I can rely on my family when I have needs, and I think I have gifts to offer to my family as well. The problem is this: my son Isaac does not feel like he has a place to belong. Most of the kids at our Church are of a much different culture than Isaac, and the kids who share the same intrests are too young or too old to really be what Isaac needs. He can transcend some cultural differences, but he has trouble connecting with many in his own culture. Isaac is a very intelectual kid. He has a hard time connecting with any kid who can not communicate and enjoy a different level of play. I feel guilty at times because we were attending a Church that fed Isaac and not Sarah or I. Isaac had a couple of good friends, and we denied him of his social needs. Now those two friends have both moved to Texas and so we are starting over. I just don't know if we should stay at the Church we feel so comfortable at despite Isaac's struggles, but work harder to find him opportunities for socail growth whith kids he can enjoy. Or, leave our family in search of a Church that can feed all of us.

"Father, please give Sarah and I the wisdom to discern your will in our lives. Please help us to be the best parents we can be, help us not to ignore the unseen needs of our children. Give Isaac the abillity to communicate the needs he has, please give him a friend who will both be a fun playmate and also help in cultivating a boy that is willing to live a life that honors and serves a living Jesus. Please give us guidance. Amen"

Christian business?

2004-12-01T23:38:00.000-08:00

Is it possible to run a business (in a capitalistic society) and serve a living Jesus at the same time? I really don't know. I have gone witnessed a friend be fired from a "Christian" based business for not doing his job. The president of the company did not want to fire him, he wanted to offer him a second chance. I find that amazing and add to it that the person being fired and the president held mutual feelings of near hate for one another. They had co-existed for the benefit of the company, and the kingdom. The only reason this person was fired was because the business manager thought it was the best business decision at that time. No person is at fault here, I think all people have valid arguments and opinions on the issue. My only thought is how can a business run effectively following the example of Jesus. Wouldn't that business loose money? Would it be a business at all? Or would it be just a ministry? I am wrestling with this issue, it touches everyone since we all need income. Oh I can't wait for the glory days of worry-free days in heaven!

"Lord please help my friend to find a new job that both honors your gifts to him, and betters your kingdom. Give those in charge of business the wisdom to lead like Jesus. Help those of us who are following to be good servants. Amen."

Jesus is lonely

2004-11-10T23:06:00.000-08:00

When I look at the gospels, I can't help but think that Jesus was a very lonely man. He was fully human as well as fully define, so he needed friendship as much as I do. There weren't many people in the stories that were interested in being a friend to Jesus. Everyone wanted something from him. He was like a rockstar who won the lottery. His mother loved him and knew him as a friend, but the disciples didn't. Jesus always withdrew to quiet so he could spend time with his father, no one knew/knows Jesus better than God. So, Jesus marched through his life fulfilling his purpose being used by all who could reach him. I understand that this was part of his ministry, but couldn't one person stop and ask Jesus how his day was? After Jesus' death and resurrection his loneliness didn't stop. He is not dead, or gone, he is alive and near and I can't see him. It makes me angry! Jesus gives us the choice everyday to choose him, or myself. I almost always choose myself. I think the biggest problem is that I can't hear him. Jesus will not call me loudly, he will whisper to me. I will never hear him until I am willing to stop my business, and be still and quiet. Jesus speaks to us through quiet. Please take a moment to stop and be still, listen for Jesus he is calling.

"Jesus help me to listen to you. I believe that you are here with me always, but I don't listen to your whisper. Help me to hear. Give me desire to clear a moment to be still.

Amen."

True Humility

2004-11-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

I have been struggling for about a year to discern what God is calling me and my family to do with our small amount of time in this world. I feel called to serve as a minister in a church. I feel I am gifted to lead a group of people, and help in forming the theology of those people, while at the same time creating a place that is actively searching out and loving those who are not a part of our church family. However, over the last few months I have felt stuck with no solution in sight. I have become impatient and at times angry at God for not being obvious in his counsel. Boy was I wrong.

For a little over two months I have been looking for a full-time minstry job. Everytime I felt I had an opportunity God said "no". I then realized that God was leading me to a normal everyday job, in which I am called to minister to the normal everyday people I will come into contact with. The very thought of this is somehow a shot at my ego. I have now found a peace about life and God's blessings are begining to flow. I have learned that I am the only thing that stands in the way of me and the task God has laid before me.
I think I have learned the true meaning of humility. I used to think that being humble was not drawing attention to my self. Humility to me was not associated with God. It was an act much like going to church or keeping pure thoughts, all of which contributed to my righteousness (or lack of). I learned that humility has nothing to do with the way I act, but rather with the choices I make regarding God in my life. True humility is understanding your place in God's Plan, and choosing to be part of him.

"Lord thank you for teaching me to be holy. I will never be without fault, but I desire to live the way you want me to. Please help me to submit to you in everyway. With all my self, father motivate me to follow your calling."